Top 50 Best Inspiring Calvin and Hobbes Quotes

Calvin and Hobbes Quotes

“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”

“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”

“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”

“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”

“I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.”

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

“Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”

“I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”

“As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.”

“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”

“That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!”

“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”


“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”

“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”

“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.”

“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?”

“You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.'

“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

“Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”

“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

“I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.”

“Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”

“I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.”

“They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.”

“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”


“I've been thinking Hobbes" "On a weekend?" "Well, it wasn't on purpose”

“The world isn't fair, Calvin." "I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”

“I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.”

“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”

“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”

“Now what state do you live in?' 'Denial.”

“I'd hate to have a kid like me.”

“Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am? ”

“From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.”

“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”

“Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”

“A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.”

“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ”

“Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.”

“I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”

“Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.”

“Girls are like slugs—they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.”

“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”

“Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!”

“I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.”

“I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!”